I wanted to share something very personal with you. I’m choosing to share in hopes that it may inspire someone to write a letter of their own, or maybe just to let you know that you are not alone in the struggle.
A couple of points before we dive in. First I’m very lucky to have a wise friend who passed on a little tidbit of advice “make a plan for the bad days”. In other words, on the days that you wish you could disappear into oblivion, what are some things you can do to make surviving the day a little more bearable? Mine involves chocolate, and lots of children’s television. This letter I wrote to myself is another arrow in the quiver to make the day better, and to help me stop mentally beating myself into a juicy pulp. So while your reading this just keep in mind that it is a letter I wrote to myself.
I know you better than anyone, and first of all all I want to say is that I am proud of you. I am proud of you for acknowledging that today is a particularly difficult day, and I am proud of you for realizing that you need to hear the things I am about to tell you.
Motherhood is hard. It wears you down until you feel like there is nothing good left. I want you to know that I completely understand and I am truly sorry that today is one of those really hard days. Do you feel ready to absorb what I am about to tell you? If you haven’t already, you need to implement your “bad day plan”. Go throw that fuzzy blanket in the dryer while you brew some fresh hot coffee and set up the telesitter. I can wait.
Ok, grab that nice warm fuzzy blanket, that steaming hot fresh coffee and curl up in your favorite chair.
I want to remind you how incredible you are. I know its difficult to hear right now because your probably listing out the million and one ways you suck.
Please stop and remember, its just a bad day.
Lets focus on today. Forget yesterday. I get it, sometimes one bad day can turn into a string of bad days and its so easy to get buried. Its so difficult to see even the slightest light shining through. But lets focus on today and allow yourself a glimmer of hope that things will get better. Maybe in an hour or maybe by tomorrow, but they will get better.
You are human.
You make mistakes. Be kind to yourself.
Your kids… they are acting like kids, try not to take it personally.
Take a moment to think about those little people out there. They Love you! They Love YOU more than ANYTHING in the world. They’ve already forgotten about how mad you got when they spilled their cereal all over the floor. It’s ok. They will love you not matter what… The same way you love them.
Remember a time when your parenting game was ON-POINT. Just pick a memory, remember that feeling, that time when you truly felt deep down that you really were a good mom. You were. You are. You are still that same amazing mom, its just a bad day.
You put so much pressure on yourself. You spend far to long beating yourself up over your mistakes. You spend far to little time celebrating your victories, how far you’ve come, and how even on the bad days your becoming an even better person than you were. You are remarkable.
Here are some other things I know about you.
- You would die before you ever let anything happen to those kids.
- Your kids are clothed, fed, healthy and happy.
- You hug and snuggle those kids even on days it makes your skin crawl to be touched.
- You love those kids even more than yourself and you’ve made sacrifices to give them a great life
You show up.
Every. Single. Day.
You show up and you give it your best every day. Sometimes your best feels like the worst but you still manage to muddle through it, and even on those days… you shine like the sun through the eyes of your kids.
Today is a hard day, but it doesn’t change who you are, and this is who you are. Don’t let those awful thoughts fool you for one second. You are a wonderful mom, and your kids are lucky to have you.
So there you have it. My conflicted heart and soul in typewrite. My reminder of who I really am when it gets lost in the chaos. Thanks for reading.